YES Therapy

     I find myself with alot of time on my hands these days. The appropriate thing to do when one is in this situation is a) do not panic b) reconnect with friends and c) don't say no, just say yes.

     Monday, I got a text from Danielle. "Do you have a skill saw and a T-square and some spare time?"

     In this case, I have to say no, but only because I don't have those tools. However, I do have lots of free time. So, I guess I'm laying laminate flooring with Danielle.

     The first thing you learn from YES Therapy (which I may patent; Dr. Sherla has a nice ring to it) is that "There is so much to learn in life", and learning is what makes living worthwhile to me. Learning, connecting and making memories. When someone asks you to help them lay laminate flooring, they aren't asking you to make a sacrifice for them! They are asking you to participate in learning, connecting and making memories.

     I learned that Danielle's dog, Miller, likes to hump me. Alot. I'm his favourite. We certainly made a connection. I had to take him for a walk to get out some of the sexual tension. Meanwhile, Danielle managed to move a refrigerator singlehandedly into her bedroom. I also learned that Danielle is stronger than she looks! Especially in her pink pyjamas.

Danielle installing underlayment, cos we ain't stupid

     Also, according to the directions on laminate flooring, it is preferable to lay the floor parallel to the light source. At 6:30 at night, Danielle's light source is a round, ceiling light as far as I'm concerned. How in the fuck are we going to determine what is parallel to a round light?

     Fortunately, there are people who actually use their brains when assisting with home renovations - unlike myself. Apparently, it is preferable to lay the floor parallel to the NATURAL light source - which would be the way the light shines through the window during the day. This seems stupid to me, but at least now I know. Laminate flooring looks better if the sunlight shines on it lengthwise. (I call bullshit on this one).

     Tuesday morning, I get a text from Janet. "Are we having breakfast this morning?" To which I replied, "I dunno. Are we?"

     The answer is, of course, yes.

     While having breakfast, Janet mentions she has sooooo much laundry. I like laundry. "Do you want me to come over and help you do laundry?"

     Again, the answer is yes.

My Lopsided Green Lantern

     While I am at Janet's house doing laundry (which is uncommonly slow work FYI), Danielle asks if I want to throw a ball around for the dogs at the Bloomfield tennis courts.

     What else? YES!!

     Wednesday, I see they are looking for people to make paper lanterns for the annual Firelight Lantern Festival in Picton. I love lanterns and crafts! YES! Do you know the kind of work involved in making a paper lantern? You basically have to tape wooden skewers together to make a shape and then cover that shape with tissue paper. Surely, A child can do this. I chose to make a nice, simple square. Three other lantern makers arrived and left before I finished my lopsided, green lantern. Two of them had children with them. But, I learned that you need an awful lot of masking tape to keep wooden skewers together and there is some benefit to having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, like Danielle. When I got home with my green lantern and Danielle's white star (yeah, she made a fucking star! Overachiever!), Rod says, "Oh, you did such a nice job on the star... what happened to the square?" Asshole.

A Beer Mitten for cold days

     Thursday, I started working on a new crochet project. Someone posted a photo of a beer mitten on facebook and asked if I could make one. Of course, I said yes. But, I don't like to do things without a recipe, a pattern or some kind of step by step directions. I just don't have that much faith in my abilities. Here is another benefit to YES Therapy. "You never really know what you are capable of until you try". The results were actually much more impressive than I would have imagined! I did it! I really did it. 

     Then, another facebook friend asked if I had a pattern I could share. I didn't, but I certainly COULD write one out. This was a conditional YES. I could share the pattern, only IF I could figure out how I had done it in the first place. The results were.... acceptable. More of a crochet guide than a pattern. If you are so inclined, check it out at http://roshalau.tumblr.com/post/102655864693/beermitten-crochet-homemade-handmade-mitten.

     In other news, my son has wanted to join the Canadian Armed Forces for quite some time. This would not be my first choice for a career for my son. When I imagine his future, I picture every horrific war movie I've ever seen, particularly Saving Private Ryan. Out of respect, he has never enlisted. But, on Friday, it was time for me to say yes to his dreams for a change. So, we went to the recruiting office in Kingston. He is very excited to start a new chapter in his life, and if I'm not completely elated, I'm at least excited on his behalf. Sometimes saying yes is hard. That is another life lesson brought to you by YES Therapy - "It's not all about you".

     Finally, on Saturday I taught Rodney the value of YES Therapy. He never wants to do anything or go anywhere. He's always so tired. So busy. So much more interested in laying on the couch or working in the garage. But, he said yes to a walk with Muffy and I. He let me choose where to go, so I decided on the Dunes Trail at Sandbanks. We were walking along, enjoying the beautiful November sun, when it struck me. 

    "Wanna go have sex in the trees?" I asked.

     Surprisingly enough, the answer to this question is, "No, you fucking loon!"

     We had been walking for about a kilometer when we decided to turn towards the lake. The view was beautiful. It was an amazing day. That's when it struck him.

     "Wanna go have sex on that picnic table?" He asked.

     Surprisingly enough, the answer to this question is also no. Although, I considered getting down in the tall grass. I just couldn't figure out the logistics of sex on the beach in 0 degree weather.

Lake Ontario in November

     I couldn't find the trail back to the car at first. We had walked almost 5 km according to the GPS through sand (which is harder than regular walking) when we came upon a lovely spot of pine trees. It was a perfect place for some winter cuddling. The final lesson from YES Therapy is, "sometimes you just shouldn't ask". Sometimes, you should just walk off into the pine trees and drop trou. It is unfortunate that ones lips tend to be ice cold after an hour long hike in freezing weather. So, you should probably say no to any oral sex. Otherwise, maneuvering around your long underwear on a bed of pine needles is a perfectly acceptable way to finish a long week of learning, connecting and making memories.