I've always liked Ben Stiller and the rest of the Focker gang. The Focker movies like to push the envelope a bit for what is acceptable in family relationships and I think that makes for good comedy. I was looking forward to the third installment of the series. It's an all star cast for sure, but I think I just wasn't in the mood tonight.
Fortunately, I didn't have to pay for my ticket. I had 1000 Scene points - Woot Woot! I don't keep track of my points so it's always a surprise when I get the online option to redeem for a free movie. It was just like Christmas!
It was just like Christmas in Belleville, too. Traffic was bad, the parking lots were full and everybody decided tonight was a good night to go to the movies. Including my daughter, who was going to see Yogi Bear in 3D. Lame. I didn't think anybody watched Yogi Bear. He's just a cartoon version of Norton from the Honeymooners and his original audience would be almost 50.
I got a Yogi Bear kids combo with a Boo-Boo Bear straw and a relatively good aisle seat with two empty seats beside me. This leaves room for me to exit and re-enter quickly because I piss two cups for every ounce of Coke I drink. It also keeps a comfortable distance between myself and any chair-hogging, mouth-breather who I don't want to sit directly beside. Unfortunately, the movie gods are angry with me for some reason. Just before the movie started, a cute little couple had to take up the two empty seats beside me. I scowled to myself, "Bitch better stay on her own side of the divider." I needn't have worried. She stayed snuggled up to her mouth-breathing prince charming and didn't bother me one bit. Then, as the movie was starting, another asshat drags himself up the stairs beside me talking to himself about how he can't find his wife. The moron kicks me as he picks his way down to the other end of my row, only to find that his wife is in the row one step down.
Normally, I would find this hysterical, have a good chuckle, and enjoy the rest of my night. But, I have my period, so it wouldn't matter if Lady Gaga had shown up with free popcorn and dildos for everyone... I'd have still been ugly.
Back to the movie. In short, it was lazy. The same lines and jokes from the first two movies were recycled in the third. I liked the intensity of the moment between the men when Jack (DeNiro) calls Greg (Stiller) the "Godfocker". I also like their fight scene at the end of the movie. The best character for me (aside from Arfur the bearded dragon... so cute :P) was Jessica Alba as Andi Garcia. I wanted to slap her and be her best friend at the same time. And, she does this fabulous star fish dive in a lacy bra and panties that is really fun and would have been epic in 3D.
Now, my next statement is totally the hormones talking. Please don't hold it against me. But, those kids - the Little Fockers - they are two of the most un-cute kids I have ever seen in a movie. I can feel my karma going into the red. It's a terrible thing to say, but I've got a picture of them beside me in the ad from this issue of Cineplex Magazine and it's all I can think of when I look at them.
The other thing that distracted me about the movie was the weird way they handled the character of Bernie Focker (Dustin Hoffman). It didn't make any sense that he spent the whole movie in Seville, Spain, taking Flamenco dancing lessons until he shows up at the twins' birthday party. Turns out, Hoffman couldn't reach an agreement with the studios about his role until the movie was already being made. So, they had to kind of add him in as an afterthought. It wasn't subtle.
I went to East Side Mario's with Alex and Devon after the movies. ESM in Belleville is notorious for having the slowest service ever, so I don't go there very often. Brooke was our server and she was like lightning! We asked for Pepsi and waters to drink and she was back so fast, I thought she must have taken full glasses off of someone else's table. She couldn't have possibly filled them and served them in the time she was gone. Same thing with my cheese capeletti takeout; one minute she was taking my plate and then she was back with my doggy bag. I think she had a twin and she was totally messing with me.
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